Aubrey is buried in the baby section at Springboro Cemetery. While it is extremely disheartening to know that so many other parents have lost their children, it does bring a sense of comfort knowing she is surrounded by others her age. We imagine that they are not only together here...but up in heaven as well. Behind her is a wooded lot filled with tall trees that blow gentle breezes across our face...a peaceful way to feel Aubrey's angelic embrace each and every time we visit.

It's incredibly strange to see your child's name set in stone. Aubrey Lynn...the name we spent countless hours trying to decide when we were choosing a name for our daughter...will never be written on homework papers or in the program of a dance recital. Instead, it will only be etched into her headstone. It is a visible memorial to the life that she lived...proof that she did exist...yet a permanent reminder of what we are missing.

It took over a year and a half for Aubrey's stone to be placed...partially because I could never finalize any part of it without a little lingering doubt. Brad and I put so much thought into every detail...knowing that this was the very last thing we would do for our daughter. We spent countless hours going over and over our choices...trying to decide what picture to use...to what we wanted the stone to say...to the butterflies we included. We wanted it to be perfect...but we finally realized that it can never be perfect...because our daughter's death will never be right.

The picture we chose was taken when Aubrey was four months old...one of the very last times that she smiled at us with her little tongue sticking out. For many people, seeing their child's picture on their stone every time they went to visit would be painful...but for us, it brings nothing but peace. I see her beautiful face...smiling back at me as always...and I smile, too. Even on the days I am out there...tears streaming down my face...missing my baby girl more than ever...I can't help but smile when I look at her picture.

The poem has been one of our favorites since the first time we saw it...always reminding us of the joy that Aubrey brought to us in her short time here on earth. The words are so simple...yet so comforting. Butterflies will forever be important to us...because like Aubrey, they are miracles, too.

There are four different types of butterflies etched into Aubrey's stone...two on the tablet and two others on the vase. The top two butterflies...on both sides of Aubrey's portrait...are Red Admirals. We chose this butterfly because it was the first type of butterfly that we saw after Aubrey's death. It showed up in our garage the day before Aubrey's first birthday and visited with us for over an hour. The butterfly near the end of the poem is called "Comma." While it sounds like a strange name, it makes me believe that there is something more...because commas are used when something else follows the main part of a sentence. The buttefly on the top of the vase is a Buckeye butterfly...obviously because we are from Ohio and we know that Aubrey would have grown up to be a Buckeye fan just like us! Finally, the butterfly on the bottom of the vase is called "Question Mark." We found the name of this butterfly so meaningful because we will never know why Aubrey died. We'll never know why God chose her...why He needed her...at least not until we are in heaven with them both.

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Brad and I have been lucky enough to see two of the butterflies we chose to put on Aubrey's stone...both which came to visit us at our own house! The day before Aubrey's first birthday, we were out in the garage and I saw this beautiful Red Admiral butterfly fly in next to us. It was the first butterfly I had ever seen up close. It stayed close to us for over an hour...flying around from one thing to another...and even resting on my hand. Then, a couple of weeks after Aubrey's second birthday, I saw a butterfly flying around in her garden area. I was amazed when I noticed that it was another butterfly from her stone! It also stayed around for quite awhile and I was able to get several pictures. Hopefully we will get a visit from each butterfly we chose to include on Aubrey's stone!

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